Off to School: The Twin Edition
It hit me square in the face this morning that my twins are starting school in a few days. My 3.5 year old BABIES are going to be away for six hours a day, Monday to Friday. This will be the first time in years that our house will be quiet. There won’t be a steady stream of questions or singing competitions to overwhelm my nervous system on a daily basis. Half of me is rejoicing. The other half of me is panicking.
Are they ready? Are they going to be okay? Should I keep them home for another year?
The panicking part of me is convinced they should stay home for just a little while longer. But if I tell panicking me to pipe down, I can hear logical me calmly state the facts: They are ready and they are going to love it.
The truth is, my twins have been preparing for Junior Kindergarten their whole lives. What? It’s true… stay with me here. They have learned so many of the core skills needed for them to thrive at school simply from being a twin. From the very beginning of their little lives, they were forced to learn how to share, take turns, and be assertive because they were born with a built-in sidekick. Someone who was always there learning and exploring alongside them, and often needing attention at the exact same time as them. So when I ask myself if they are ready for school, it puts my mind at ease knowing they have spent years unintentionally prepping for this huge transition simply because they are twins.
For example, my twins learned about taking turns very early in life when it came to feedings. Due to low milk supply, I needed to use both hands while breastfeeding one baby, making tandem breastfeeding impossible for us. When we switched to bottles, tandem bottle feeding was also not an option due to both twins’ severe reflux. Although there were very loud protests at times, my twins practiced taking turns and sharing their caregiver at an early age simply because there were two of them. Although there have been many instances during their lives where I wished I could have given my full attention to each child every moment that it was asked for, the practice they have had in waiting their turn and sharing their caregiver will serve them well in school.
Being a twin has also taught my kids how to be assertive. This quality is especially evident with our identical twins. Although they look the same, they have very different thoughts, feelings, and opinions. They have learned how to share what is special to them as individuals and what makes them uniquely different from their twin. They are assertive when asking for help when necessary, and they share messages that are important to them. I am confident this will serve them well in a kindergarten class with 25+ classmates.
Although they have spent the last (almost) four years honing the skills that will help their success in school, what if they struggle with the actual transition to school? What if they need help that they aren’t getting? I promise you friends, we will get our kids through the struggles because you know what? Twin parents are a special kind of scrappy. We have been training for this for as long as we’ve been parents. We have been advocating for our kids since infancy (and in many cases, since pregnancy).
We are experts at getting help for our kids when they need it. Many twins are born needing extra medical support and spend time in the NICU, or need support through Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, Physiotherapy, or medical specialists. The reality is that by the time our kids start school, most twin parents have many years of advocacy under their belts. It has been one of our main jobs as parents: feed, nurture, advocate, repeat.
It’s important to note that there are always things we can practice to make the transition to school go smoother, such as putting on shoes independently, opening and closing lunch containers, going to the washroom independently, and recognizing their name. But please rest assured, friends, if your twins are starting school soon they are ready. The core skills are there.
They are going to thrive. You are going to thrive. We’re all going to thrive.
We’ve been training for this!
